I wrote a couple of days ago about the love I feel for my bottom. Two ripe little peaches of incredibly pleasing proportions that I have never once subjected to crazy mirror abuse or cruel words.
Since writing, my bottom has staged something of a rebellion. My coccyx bone curled in on itself like a little calcified poo a few days ago And I stopped being able to sit down without lots of pain.
And so I called the totally magic body person, aka my osteopath. It is a source of absolute amazement to me that the whole world doesn’t see an osteopath. They solve almost everything, really quickly – without waiting lists and needless scans – and all for the cost of a night out. I don’t understand what’s not to love…?
Anyway – I love them. So very much! And today my osteopath fixed everything, made me laugh and sent me away with a glorious bottom once again – all in half an hour. Larkin once wrote that if he were to start a religion, he would make use of water. I would make use of osteopaths.
The photo is of me dressed up for a TOWIE -style hen night. I don’t know why I’ve used it really. Other than that I am still not showing you my bottom.