Tag Archives: Twitter

Seductress/hostage taker

Hello dear friends! I apologise for my absence of late. I’ve been in Ibiza, you see. On a hen party. Did you hear me? I went to Ibiza! Where, like, trendy people go? They like get villas n shit? And they go to sunset bars and look good after a day at the beach? Yuh? That was me for the last four days. Me! Smelly old Robinson! I stayed in a beautiful villa with a load of beautiful women and had a properly brilliant time! Who knew?   I think the experience probably deserves a blog in itself but for now I wanted to … Continue reading

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Bang, went my face. I fell out of my high heels.

Well, it happened. Publication day came and went. My book (pictured – once only, I promise) is out there, in the world. Feck! I didn’t knob up my radio interviews too horribly, although I did have an awkward moment when one of the presenters made some gag involving my name. The gag was clearly designed to invite a reciprocal response but the problem with that was that I had already forgotten his name. An uncomfortable silence ensued as we both waited for me to remember. Eventually, somewhat wounded, he soldiered on. Other than that, all was well. I signed books, talked … Continue reading

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She’s coming home, she’s coming home, she’s coming…

I am less than forty-eight hours away from my flight home, readers. Thank you very much for the support: I was really touched by your messages of concern. You helped me accept that dying out here of some tropical malady was both avoidable and absurd. (NB one of my favourite ‘come home’ messages was via Twitter: “are you out of your f*cking MIND, you c*ck? Stop being a f*cking fanny and come home RIGHT NOW… YOU UTTER D*CK!” So yes, I listened and agreed and at huge expense changed our flights home. The Man has – as usual – been … Continue reading

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Unacceptable

Alright there friends! I think it may have been a while since my last blog. Forgive me. I was staying in a hippy town and got lost in batik skirts and home-made jam for a while. I don’t know what came over me. There are pictures of me wearing knitted hippy headbands (featured) and there were even reports of me sitting on a wooden log in a forest, meditating. I’m so sorry. Please be reassured that normal service is being resumed. I am writing this from Nuequen Bus Station where I find myself nine hours into a twenty five hour … Continue reading

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The usual disasters

Hello dear friends! I apologise for the week’s silence. I was so busy on Twitter discussing things like trapped wind that I forgot that I am, first and foremost, a blogger. There has been little by way of Big Romance this week but there have been two noteworthy scrapes: 1. I was on a boat and my ipod was on shuffle. The Three Tenors’ rendition of Nessun Dorma from the magical 1990 World Cup concert came on and, as ever, I started bawling. I always do. Nessun Dorma is a rousing enough piece of music on its own, never mind … Continue reading

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Does anyone care?

I have been asked a few times recently if I am likely to start a Twitter account. Each time I have snorted and answered no. I don’t get Twitter. It’s crap for stalking and it goes against my instincts: I’m a blogger; I use 1200 words to make a point that could adequately be expressed in 140 letters. How could it ever work? But as it goes, I do actually have an account. In the C4 doc about me, they opened a Twitter account in my name so that they could include it in one of the scenes – I … Continue reading

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