Tag Archives: married

Seductress/hostage taker

Hello dear friends! I apologise for my absence of late. I’ve been in Ibiza, you see. On a hen party. Did you hear me? I went to Ibiza! Where, like, trendy people go? They like get villas n shit? And they go to sunset bars and look good after a day at the beach? Yuh? That was me for the last four days. Me! Smelly old Robinson! I stayed in a beautiful villa with a load of beautiful women and had a properly brilliant time! Who knew?   I think the experience probably deserves a blog in itself but for now I wanted to … Continue reading

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Back to Bonnie

In my second ever blog for Marie Claire, just short of a year ago (oh, BLESS me. So young! So hopeful! And the right side of thirty!) I was lamenting the lack of decent men available on the internet. I’d just started internet dating (not for the first time, admittedly) and was feeling a little short-changed when the anticipated heard of highly eligible young men had failed to charge into my inbox. Instead, as you may have seen in the doc that C4 made about me; I awoke to an inbox full of pondlife and madness. Signing up for internet dating aged nearly 30 … Continue reading

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I’m getting married…

My feelings of inappropriate lust for my Spanish tutor have reached unmanageable proportions: I think it might be time for us to part company. During our lesson this morning, as he presented me with me a cup of tea (he even served it with a little dish in which I could rest my teaspoon! I LOVE HIM) he said “You smile a lot in these lessons, no? I smiled very hard indeed. “It is because you are such a brilliant tutor, of course,” I replied in a moronic fashion, wishing I had not drunk so much Malbec the night before. … Continue reading

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