Dear Everyone who might find this blog,
I’m BACK! I’m WELL! I survived the most horrible six months of my life!
You may remember my last post, back in June, when I wrote something a bit cryptic about my body going on strike and me having to sign off for a while.
I wasn’t being cryptic because I’m a dick (although I am a dick) – I was being cryptic because I didn’t yet know what was wrong with me.
Except I did, really. The day it started – the day it seemed to come crashing out of the sky like a big shit-covered thunderbolt, pinning me to the ground and knocking every atom of strength out of me – I knew in my bones that it was ME. Or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, as they call it these days. There is no describing that sensation of utter emptiness your body feels when it collapses down into that place.
I will write a proper blog about my experience soon – I want to think about it a bit first. But for now I can report with ABSOLUTE BLOODY ECSTATIC JOY that I am completely well again! Totally back to normal! And so grateful I keep doing big noisy happy crying sessions and punching the air (my trademark, as many will know) and doing running jumps on The Man who is bewildered but absolutely delighted by my return to health. In fact I’m so well that I’ve even discovered that I can eat sugar without collapsing and borderline dying. As some of you will know I had to give it up four years ago (FOUR YEARS WITHOUT CAKE. CAN YOU IMAGINE IT? CAN YOU?) so to be able to say yes to mince pies is just the icing on the cake. If you will.
Lots of love, and thanks a million billion for the support. I’m sorry I’ve not been able to reply to everything: as before, it’s not cos I’m a dick. Even though I am a dick.
With love to everyone. Every single person ever. Even the twat who keeps blocking our car gates with their big posh Audi. I even love you. That’s how good I feel.
MERRY CHUFFING CHRISTMAS!
PS I’d post a photo of me looking well and healthy but I’m still in my dressing gown and look like a slightly mouldy vegetable, so I won’t.