MONDAY MORONS. Join us.

© Eva Belle PhotographySo I’ve been thinking of starting a video blog.

However, I cannot bring myself to use the word ‘Vlog.’ It sounds like someone throwing up.

(“Muuurrhhh, I feel sick.”

“Quick, get to the toilet!”

“VLOG!”

“Oh dear.”)

And my plan for this new venture is to involve you guys. So, here’s my first question:

What can I call my video blog that isn’t reminiscent of vomit? A film blog (Flog?) A moving picture blog (M-Pog?) Or a Filmed Robinson Blog (FROG?) Please submit ideas below, or on my facebook page, or via Twitter. Thank you.

So that’s agreed then. I am going to start a ‘…….’

Then: what will it be about? The possibilities are endless!

I was having a think with my Robinson crew the other day. And someone said, ‘You should make sure it’s about something that people really like you for.’

I was perplexed. ‘What do people like me for, though?’

There was a silence.

‘Well,’ one of them said gently. ‘Your readers do quite like the fact that you’re a bit of a, um . . .’

‘A what?’

Further silence.

‘A WHAT?’ I shouted.

‘Well, a bit of a moron.’

‘Oh.’

I bristled for a short while, trying to prove that people see me as a serious writer and a very successful human being, but in truth I don’t think anyone believes that.

There’s no denying it, really, I am a moron. My blog history is a written record of this fact. Even a casual browse reveals a level of moronic terribleness that I have never seen anywhere else in the world. (I appreciate that it’s beginning to sound like I’m proud of this. I’m not.)

There was the time my Spanish Tutor had to explain firmly to me that he was getting married, and not to me. Or the time when, during the posh lunch my publishers took me out for on the publication of my first novel, I walked straight into a mirrored wall and flew out of my high heels. Or the fact that I am known for eating sirloin steak and chicken legs at 7am.

I won’t go on. My entire blog archive is a testament to my moronic loserishness.

However, something has occurred to me: I might not be the worst. There might be people out there who have stories even worse than mine. Surely? SURELY?

‘That’s it!’ I said. ‘I’m going in search of people as bad as, if not worse than me!’

And so Monday Morons was born. There are lots of fun plans afoot but for now I’m just going to start gathering evidence, and that’s where you come in. I want as many stories from your own moron archives as possible and I want them NOW!

Here’s some initial catagories. You can send in stories for as many categories as you like – seriously, the more the merrier. And you can do so either by using the comments box at the end of this blog, or by sending an email to mondaymorons@lucy-robinson.co.uk. Don’t worry, I won’t shame you publically. Only myself. No names will ever see the light of day – on that you have my word. (You can leave comments in the box below under whatever name you want.)

So yes. That’s where we’re at for now. I want to take a measure of the moroncy around me for starters. But I have big plans. And I want you to be involved. GO!

1. The most moronic thing you’ve ever said in bed to a lover (here’s something to get you started)

2. The most moronic sending-the-wrong-email-to-the-wrong-person moment you’ve had

3. The most moronic thing you’ve said or done in a job interview

4. The most moronic thing you’ve said or done, when drunk, in front of your folks.

5. The most moronic thing you’ve said or done in front of your LOVER’S folks.

6. The most moronic outfit you’ve ever worn, believing you look SHARP.

ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO WORSE. 

…Or can I?

Yours,

Chief Moron Robinson x


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5 Responses to MONDAY MORONS. Join us.

  1. Lowri says:

    I once left a long, drunken rambling inappropriate voicemail for my boyfriend. I seem to recall mentioning a strip club.

    Got home, asked if he got my message and was met with a blank stare.

    It was my parents answer phone.

  2. Lisa says:

    The most moronic thing you’ve said or done in front of your LOVER’S folks –

    This is possibly worse than my Greggs pasty / Borat date story Lucy, brace yourself!

    I’d been with my partner for about a month, how we made it to 5 years after this event I’ll never know!

    One evening we decided to play a drinking game. I was 18 and not a heavy drinker. Everytime Ron Burgundy’s name is said while watching Anchor Man we drank… Now if you’ve ever seen this film you’ll know in the first 10 minutes his name is said a LOT!

    Many many many Vodka shots were taken.

    This resulted in me being sick…. On my new boyfriends PILLOW! OH MY GOD!

    The worst part was taking the washing down to his parents in the morning and saying “Sorry, but I threw up on the pillows….”

    Thankfully they laughed at me! Apparently having 3 grown son’s they’ve had worse alcohol induced sick incidents. Thank goodness!

  3. Victoria says:

    I sent my dad a text that should of gone to my husband……. This was the text….. “On you 5days off I expect a LOT of cock!!” Very true and very mortifying!

  4. Kirsty says:

    1. An ex once said ‘that feels so nice.’ Stopped, er, what I was doing, and gave him a lecture on all the words that are more appropriate than NICE in that situation.
    2. Recently, in an email to senior management and the whole dept, typoed my name with the Brangelina-style nickname an office flirtation of mine had been given.
    3. Only ever had one job interview. I got the job. So, you know, booyah.
    4. Ran naked into my day’s bedroom telling him I had the plague. You know how that story starts.
    5. Religion debate. With ex’s deeply religious mum. Just hideous.
    6. Batman shirt. But I maintain that it’s great.

    I’m a shambles.

  5. Victoria says:

    The most moronic outfit… Oh god I still have flash backs! I was going out with my first boyfriend at 16 and he took me to chessington for the day and I turned up in tight tan trousers with tassels running down the entire sides of the legs with a stroppy white top AND tan 6inch high ANKLE BOOTS!!!!!! I was a foot taller than him and I had to walk around ALL DAY LONG looking like a giant who forgot to wear trousers!!!!!!

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