Loving New York Day 5: weirdness and madness

photo (51)There’s a very funny article in this week’s Time Out NY. ‘Comedian Chris Gethard makes a case for why our city is – and always will be – weird as fuck.’

Just five minutes before I bought said publication I’d been saying to Marge ‘one of the things I love about this City is that it’s COMPLETELY MENTAL. Wherever you go, someone’s doing something really weird or mad and nobody ever takes any notice.’

In the article, Gethard suggested that anyone who believes that New York’s madness was swept away by Mayor Giuliani should just take a good look around them. So that’s what I did yesterday. During a half-hour walk from Chelsea to midtown, I kept my eyes peeled and saw the following:

1. Extremely tall man dressed as woman, holding one of his shoes. ‘I have a hole in my shoe,’ he shouted at me, brandishing the shoe (it was a black Croc, if you’re interested.) ‘You gotta help me!’ I made a very sympathetic face, because I’m British (the guy in front of me had told poor Shoe Man to go fuck himself) and said I couldn’t help. ‘I love you,’ he said sadly, as I walked away.

2. Two large mongrels being pushed down the street in an old-fashioned pram. Not little yappy dogs in a bag, I’m talking two big mutts hanging out of a pushchair from the 1980s. And the owner was wearing a suit.

3. A man who may well have been naked underneath a pair of denim dungarees, shouting, ‘CAN YOU FEEL THE FOOT OF GOD?’ He definitely wasn’t saying ‘love of god’ or anything else: it was definitely foot. I know this because I turned round and followed him to check.

4. A woman carrying a big roll of carpet on her shoulder, talking to the tree right outside Marge’s apartment. I thought she was on a handsfree at first. But of course she wasn’t. This is New York.

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4 Responses to Loving New York Day 5: weirdness and madness

  1. Cally Taylor says:

    Brilliant! You’ve just reminded me of the time I went to New York and I was wearing a long, purple maxi dress and was feeling very swishy and cool – until a homeless dude shouted at me, ‘Hey, Barney. I loved you when I was a kid!’

    Here’s an image of Barney for the uninitiated:


  2. Faye Gardiner says:

    Undoubtedly the weirdest, maddest, most thrilling place on earth (in my humble opinion). And because it’s fine to be totally unBritish and say exactly what you’re thinking here, message me tomorrow if you’re still soaking up the city having random encounters with crazies. Would be awesome (and totally random) to catch up over some regularly replenished tap water.. x

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